A BAU Christmas Carol
by SillyOldThing
Summary: A spoof of a Christmas Carol featuring Hotch as Scrooge, see what happens.


**BAU Christmas Carol.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal minds or a Christmas carol.**

**Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so many years it was a splendid laugh!" **

― **Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol.**

**XXXXX**

It was Christmas eve and Hotch couldn't sleep. Tomorrow he and Jack had to get up early, eat, open presents and rush so Jack could spend Christmas day with aunt Jess and her family.

Hotch had to work, as did the rest of his team, they were not a happy bunch.; all of them except Reid had made plans with family.

They were flying off to Tucson to try to profile a killer who seemed to be systematically taking out postmen. His only concession Hotch made was that they could leave in the morning.

He had barely just started to drift off when he was awakened by loud rattling noises coming from his kitchen. He immediately leapt out of bed, his first thoughts going to Jack.

"Jack, are you out of bed" he called. He waited for a reply; now there was only an ominous silence.

Try as he might his mind also went to Foyet and how easily that monster had broken into the apartment. He shook his head as if to shake off the bad thoughts. Foyet was dead.

Hotch carefully crept out into the outer room and he could see a small bright light in the darkness; It was coming from his refrigerator and he could see a man in boxer shorts bent over peering into it. The man wore heavy chains about his ankles, yards of them in fact.

"Who are you? " Aaron demanded.

The figure turned, he held a large wedge of cheese in his hand. It was Gideon.

His raised his arms in the air rattling the chains. " Aroooo OHHH" he moaned .

Hotch was startled "Jason what the hell, what are you doing here? Why are you wearing those chains and why are you in your underwear eating my cheese?"

Gideon advanced toward him "AAROOOOh", he wailed.

"Knock it off, you'll wake Jack," Aaron snapped.

"Aaron, these are the chains I forged in life, yard by yard, link by link" Gideon said mournfully.

"In life? what are you talking about? You're not dead,"

Gideon dark eyes bored in to his "A minor detail Aaron, why are you leaving your son and making your team work on Christmas?" Gideon demanded.

Hotch was annoyed," I have to; it's part of the job. If we're needed, we have to go. You should understand that, you were a profiler, a good one, it's our life."

Gideon let out another wail, he dropped into a chair.

"Aaron, I have come to warn you. Tonight you will be visited by three spirits…"

Hotch scowled, "The hell I will. I've had enough, you are not real, and you are most likely the result of eating too much of that aged cheddar, now get out. I'm going back to bed and force myself to wake up."

Aaron returned to his room and dropped into bed. He heard no more of the clanging Gideon and this time he easily fell asleep. Unfortunately his slumber was short lived.

He heard a familiar off key voice singing an old Dean Martin tune. He blinked and in the dimness of his room he could see David Rossi standing at the foot of his bed with a glass of scotch in his hand. He was wearing a white terry bathrobe.

"Dave?" he ventured.

Dave smiled "Sure why not. Ok Aaron, time to get up, I'm gonna show you the past."

Aaron groaned "Oh c'mon Dave, you're not dead either. "

Rossi grinned "Let's go, touch my robe and I'll lead you into the past"

Too weary to argue and anxious to get this dream over with Hotch got up and headed toward the window" "Ok, I'm ready "He said, hoisting a leg over the sill.

The ghost Rossi stared at him.

"The door Aaron, we're going out the door, what kind of nut leaves through a window?"

Aaron trudged over to Rossi and touched the white robe. The room began to spin and flip and travel at an un-imaginable speed, within seconds he found himself in the BAU face to face with a much younger version of himself.

He turned and looked with amazement at the spirit Rossi who was now sipping on his glass of Scotch.

"Pretty friggin cool aint it" Dave said.

Hotch nodded, he studied the face of his much younger self. He was actually smiling and by the looks of it the deep scowl lines has not yet been permanently etched on his face. He was talking to Haley on the phone.

"Ok Honey, I'll be home in time for dinner, love you bye."

"Look how happy you were" said Rossi softly.

XXXX

**Part Two**

Yes. He did look happy and why shouldn't he? He had just started at the BAU. Haley was alive and they were still in love and happy.

"So. I was happy, "he said. "I know that"

"Yeah, sure but look at yourself now"

The scene changed, it was something he remembered all too well. Jess and Haley had planned a birthday party for Him. Jack was just a baby. He left them to go to work."

He felt a twinge of guilt. "What was I supposed to do, not go? It's my job."

Rossi pointed behind him "Was that your job?"

He saw himself in conversation with a very pale looking Reid. Reid was twitching and scratching at the inside of his elbows. He watched when Reid left the bullpen to get coffee; Hotch turned and accidently knocked Reid's messenger bag off his desk. A vial of some foreign looking liquid and a syringe fell out. He quietly picked them up and returned them to the bag.

"You knew he had a serious drug problem yet you stood by and did nothing" Rossi said in a hard voice.

Hotch cringed "I knew he would take care of it, he's brilliant, It would have ruined his career if I'd reported him,"

"You mean he could have lost his life. His ability to help the team meant more to you." Rossi thundered.

The accusation wounded him "That's not true," he said weakly. He closed his eyes and waited; when he opened them again the scene made him gasp.

"No, not here, please Dave,"

He found himself in his own home. He could see Morgan standing in the doorway and could hear his own sobs emanating from the room.

Dave put his arm over his shoulder and led him away. "Nah, I'm not that cruel. Let's go, but remember Strauss offered you an out even though she seemed like she was being a bitch about it. You turned the offer down. Now Jack is practically being raised by his Aunt"

Hotch blinked for now he was back in his bedroom alone.

He looked around the room and saw no sign of Rossi. Relieved, he jumped into his bed and huddled under the covers.

"I can't change the past Dave," he said aloud. He shut his eyes tight.

"Sleep sleep, I've got to get back to sleep." and he did.

XXXXX

**Part three**: The Present.

Hotch wasn't surprised to be woken up again. This time it was by the sound of laughter. He got up and followed the noise. He stepped out into the living room and there amongst the tree and gifts was Morgan.

When he saw Hotch his grin widened.

"My man, glad you're here"

"And I suppose you're the ghost of Christmas present?" said Hotch

"That's right."

"What's the deal with all you spirits being living people? And what can I possibly learn from the present?"

Morgan put his arm around him. "Man, you have to learn to trust the process. Shall we go?"

Aaron sighed "Like I have a choice."

Once again he felt the floor disappear under his feet and his body spin at a sickening speed. When the motion finally stopped he felt like he was going to be sick.

He was now in a living room of some kind, it was morning, and there were several people there.

He blinked to try to orient himself.

"Sorry, I guess I go a bit fast" Morgan apologized.

"Where are we?" Hotch asked.

"Look around and you'll see."

Hotch recognized the room. He was in JJ's house. JJ and Will sat under the tree with Henry. The little guy was tearing through his presents.

It made Hotch smile, He remembered when Jack used to do that … or at least that's what he watched on the home videos Haley used to send him.

He felt a knot in the pit of his stomach. He walked closer to the tight knit little family. He could hear JJ consoling Will.

"I'm sorry Will; I'll be back as soon as I can. There's a person out there hurting people, we have to help." she said.

Will merely nodded.

"Sound familiar Hotch? "whispered Morgan

It did sound familiar; it was the same thing he said to Haley many times during their marriage.

The ghost Morgan pointed to the opposite end of the room.

"Look over there sitting near the hearth, its Tiny Reid, alone, his crutch by his side. JJ invited him to spend Christmas."

Hotch frowned, Reid was there holding a crutch, sitting on the floor.

"Hey, what are you trying to pull? Reid doesn't use crutches anymore, his leg healed. "Hotch said.

"We'll he tripped last night and sprained his ankle," explained Morgan. "Never mind that, come with me."

Before Aaron could utter another sentence he found himself at his sister in laws home, Jack was sitting at the dinner table giggling with his cousins as Jesses husband regaled the family with funny Christmas stories.

Aaron turned to Morgan." Surely there can't be anything wrong with this, look how happy Jack is."

"Listen," Morgan ordered.

"Jack, is your Dad gonna come here tonight?" asked his older cousin.

Jack shrugged "I don't know,"

"Where is he?" his cousin persisted "it's Christmas"

"He's out catching bad guys."

The older child rolled his eyes "Couldn't someone else catch em for one day?"

Jess catching the last bit of conversation quickly changed the subject. "Hey, are you guys going to watch one of the bluerays you got today?"

The children all started to talk at once beginning a debate about which movie was to be watched first, Hotch watched Jack closely, it was like he could tell that inside Jack's mind a small germ of an idea had been planted. It had never occurred to the boy that someone else might to able to do his Dad's job.

Aaron hung his head, he felt consumed by guilt. He felt Morgan's hand on his shoulder. Aaron shrugged it off.

"Go away; leave me alone I don't want to see any more."

Jess's house dissolved. Aaron found himself standing outside in the snow. Morgan was no longer there.

"Hey where am I, take me back," he demanded. Hotch began to run. He was somewhere in a cold dark park. He felt lost. The place seemed familiar yet coldly different.

He slowed down when in the haze of the falling snow he saw a dark shrouded figure before him. His heart beat faster. He stopped in front of the figure.

"I know who you are," Hotch breathed, "Of all I have seen tonight I fear you the most."

The spectral figure lifted its hands up and pulled back the hood that hid its face."

He felt frozen on the spot

"Erin?" he said, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Aaron" she said.

The pale ghostly figure of Erin Strauss stood before him.

"You're the spirit of Christmas future?"

"You seem surprised"

"Well you are the first spirit that's actually dead."

"Come" she said with an all too familiar sound of irritation in her voice.

Erin turned and seemed to glide over the snowy landscape until they found themselves in Quantico.

Hotch saw himself as a much older man. He was a section chief. He still had a good head of hair even though it was mostly grey. He noted he had gotten a bit soft in the stomach. His older self was speaking to Jack on the telephone.

"Hey son, I get a week off at Christmas will you be able to make it… oh ok, I understand. What about new year's will you be able to…? I see, no don't worry about it. Don't forget to phone your Aunt jess in Florida, bye son."

"Jack is too busy, "the dark figure said.

"Hotch scowled," So what, he's busy. Where are we going now?"

He was led to his old office. Derrick Morgan sat at the desk. He was working withno indication of leaving anytime soon.

"Morgan looks alright to me"

"Yes, he now has your old job and that's all he has. He works so hard and such long grueling hours that Savannah eventually left him for another man. The loneliness got to her," Strauss told him.

Hotch took a closer look at Morgan, his once perfect features had reset themselves. It appeared he now had deep worry lines etched between his eyebrows.

The next stop was Rossi's home. The place was no longer a showpiece. He saw Rossi in a dark corner of the living room, watching TV and devouring a plate of buttery lobster. He had gained at least 75 pounds. And his salt and pepper hair cascaded down his shoulders.

"What's wrong with Dave, he was always so vain about his appearance,"

Strauss slowly shook her head.

"Poor sweet David fell for a long con. A young woman came along and passed herself off as his daughter by his second wife. She and her partner cooked up a scheme to bilk him out of thousands of dollars.

Hotch was shocked, "I can't believe it"

"Yes, he was so delighted with the idea of having a daughter and a grandchild he never asked for proof. No DNA test, never checked with his second wife. They told him she suffered from dementia. The pair of grifters got away with a good deal of money and Dave never pursued them, he was so ashamed. His work suffered, He quit the BAU, he couldn't write anymore either."

Hotch felt dizzy, he realized they were moving again. He wrinkled his nose, there was a ghastly ammonia odor, he looked around, and recognized Garcia's apartment.

"Come on my cute little fluffy buns, dinner is served" He heard Garcia trill.

Aaron cringed and wondered which boyfriend she was talking to. He peered closer and saw that Penelope was not talking to a person at all; she was talking to her cats, a lot of cats. They seemed to come spilling out of every little nook in her apartment. There had to be more than a dozen of them.

"Garcia's become a…"

"A cat lady", Erin finished. "Her boyfriend Sam had become very close with Savannah, too close; he's the one she left Morgan for."

Strauss laid an icy hand on Aaron's arm. "We are not finished".

Hotch was swept up by a cold wind. He shut his eyes tight until he felt his feet on hardwood floor. He was in a large building and he could see that the sun was shining through the windows. He glanced around the old building; His eye caught a plaque on the wall. it said 'Bennington Sanitarium'.

Oh no Reid, Reid is here, poor Reid he finally succumbed to what he feared most, he thought.

Strauss led him into a waiting room. Hotch saw Reid sitting in an overstuffed arm chair reading a book.

Hotch felt like his heart would break "When did it happen, was it schizophrenia?"

"What, what are you talking about?"

"Reid, he's a patient here right?"

Strauss laughed, which was extremely disturbing since he had never heard her laugh in life.

"Aaron, Reid owns Bennington now. You see he left the BAU to pursue research. He was looking for a cure for schizophrenia and accidently discovered a cure for male pattern baldness. He made an absolute fortune. So he purchased this place and it is now one of the best run facilities for mental health in the world and he still leads a research team."

Hotch turned to her puzzled "Why did you bring me here? This is a good story."

The Strauss specter shrugged," thought you might be interested,"

Hotch started to walk away.

"Agent, wait we have one more stop to make." Her voice had become hard and icy. He was certain this was the one stop he didn't want to see. Nevertheless the ground disappeared beneath his feet once again and the swirling scenery and heavy falling snow almost blinded him to what he saw next.

He was in a dimly lit quiet building. He could hear the echo of footsteps on the cold marble floor. There were voices speaking in hushed tones. He saw his team, his team was all together, they were older yes but they were together.

"Where am I "He asked Strauss.

Strauss silently pointed to a long dark box at the end of the room.

Hotch gasped," I'm in there?"

Hotch looked at his team again, he saw no sign of Jack.

Strauss nodded.

He walked among his team members. Morgan was hugging Garcia.

"Don't cry baby girl, you know he wouldn't like it. "

"I know I know but at least I have this" she held up a large garbage bag.

"What's in there?" asked JJ.

Garcia opened it up and pulled out a dark suit." I went to his home and collected his suits, his ties too. They were just going to throw them out"

"Are you donating those to charity?" asked Reid.

"Oh no, I'm making tiny suits for my male cats, so I'll be reminded of Hotch all the time "she sniffed.

Rossi rolled his eyes "Hey do you know if they're going to be serving a lunch or a buffet after?"

"I can't believe this." Said Hotch.

He spotted a tall lovely brunette heading his way. "Look, Prentiss came all the way from London for me."

"Not exactly Aaron"

When Emily reached the group she walked straight over to Reid and kissed him on the mouth. Reid took her in his arms and held her.

"Did I miss something?" Hotch asked.

Strauss smirked. "Apparently, Dr. Reid had some business in Europe and he stopped in to see Prentiss in London. Well let's just say one thing led to another and the next thing you know they're married and have two lovely children. Morgan called them the bottom of the ninth babies."

"Erin, I have to ask you one thing,"

"Yes Aaron, someone did wear white at the wedding and it wasn't Emily, "said Strauss with a ghostly leer.

"No not that, these things you are showing me. Are they the shadows of things that might be, or are they the shadows of thing that must be?"

"What do you think Aaron?"

"I think I'm too old that it's too late to change, how can anything I do now affect anything?" he moaned.

Strauss said nothing. They were alone again in a cold dark street. Hotch fell to the ground on his knees, suddenly he was exhausted.

"I want to change, I want things to be different, please help me" he pleaded. "Please help me."

Hotch felt himself come out of the darkness. He was awakened by a persistent buzzing noise. He was waking up. He opened his eyes and found himself in his own room in his apartment. It was Christmas morning. The buzzing sound persisted until he realized it was his cell phone .He grabbed it and saw Garcia's name.

"Hello Penelope, merry Christmas" he boomed in a very un-Hotchlike manner.

"Hotch, are you alright sir?" Garcia thought she might have called the wrong number.

"I'm better than alright Garcia, its Christmas "Hotch by this time had leapt off his bed and was pacing about his room

"Er yeah, I wanted to relay some good news sir. The killer in Tucson turned himself in we don't have to go."

"That's great now go enjoy yourself Penelope and oh would you mind calling the rest of the team.,"

"Not at all,"

"And Garcia, I want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For not stealing my suits and making cat clothes, goodbye," he hung up.

"Sir? Hotch, hello, what did you say?"

Hotch felt beside himself. He hadn't missed Christmas. He had to wake Jack, he ran to his son's room.

"Jack, get up its Christmas morning "

All he saw was a tangle of blankets on the bed. He looked around, the room was empty.

Before he even had a chance to feel alarmed he felt a small pair of hands tugging on his arm. Jack was already up and raring to go,

"C'mon Dad we have to hurry remember?"

Hitch bent down." Guess what Jack; we can take all the time we like today. I just found out I don't have to work, I'm going to call your Aunt Jess and see if she minds one extra person for Christmas dinner."

The look on Jacks face was about the best gift he could ever get.

"So what do you say? Breakfast or presents first?"

"Dad really!"

Hotch laughed," ok presents it is."

XXXXX

Part four

It was the Monday after Christmas; Hotch was back in his office. He still felt like he was on some sort of holiday high. He and Jack had one of their best Christmas's in years.

Jess was thrilled that Hotch was able to be there with Jack. Hotch told his sister in- law he wanted to make some changes. He wasn't exactly sure what they were yet but it meant spending more time with his son. Jess hugged him.

He had sent texts to each team member to come to his office as soon as they got in. He saw them arriving, each one with a puzzled expression on their face. It made him giggle; he bit the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing. He made an effort to keep a stony countenance. One by one they filed in, noting the serious expression on his face. The six profilers stood there silently waiting for their leader to speak.

Aaron folded his arms across his chest.

"I'm glad you all had a good holiday, yet I understand there was some general unhappiness going around when you all thought you had to work Christmas day?

"Hotch really, it's only natural that people would be a little disappointed…"Rossi began.

Hotch held his hand up to silence him "Let me finish Dave."

"I know what we do is hard, but we all took an oath, it is not only our job but our duty to help apprehend dangerous criminals no matter what time of day or year it is."

The team looked at each other feeling sheepish and confused at the same time. It was so unlike Hotch to deliver this type of dressing down."

Hotch leaned forward and gave them his most terrifying scowl.

"I believe that I have no choice but to give each and every one of you an extra day off next weekend, unless we're on a case of course"

The team stood there with stunned expressions. Hotch leaned back in his chair and burst out laughing.

"Hotch are you ok?" said Rossi in a quiet voice.

Hotch wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. He tried to compose himself, then one of them would speak to him really slow like he was their demented uncle and he would collapse in another fit of giggles.

"See, I told you something was up," whispered Garcia. "He thought I wanted to make cat clothes "

Several minutes later Hotch was able to get a hold of himself. He tried to catch his breath.

"Oh oh , I'm sorry. Garcia, I haven't lost my senses, I've come to them. I realized I was taking all of you for granted. Not treating you like you had lives outside the BAU, I'm sorry. All of you have tons of vacation days piled up, an odd break now and then would be good for you, good for everyone especially your families."

They still stood kind of dumbstruck, staring at their boss.

"Ok, now please go, leave my office, and get to work." he made a shooing motion with his hands.

They filed out; when his door closed behind them he could hear their excited murmurs

He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "Ok Aaron, now stop stalling and get to work, "he said sternly to himself,"

He picked up his pen and a file and then he would remember their shocked faces and he would be overtaken by another laughing fit. He threw his pen over his shoulder

"Oh I give up,"

XXXX

Part five.

When Hotch went to speak to his sister in-law about making some changes, he discovered she had some ideas of her own.

She told him that there were some really nice townhomes for sale that were five minutes from her house, they had backyards and were close to Jack's school.

Hotch had to laugh, he told her that he and Jack had already checked them and he put in an offer. Jess was thrilled.

In the following weeks he had a private talk with each member of his team.

He told Morgan to make sure when he was with Savannah, to make her his priority.

He suggested to Garcia that she and Sam spend less time with Morgan and Savannah and maybe adopting another kitten was not a good idea.

He reminded JJ not to use him as a role model whenever she seemed a bit too Hotchlike.

Rossi was the most difficult, but he made Dave promise to get proof that his 'daughter' was telling the truth. It didn't make him happy but he complied.

One day he saw Reid leaving the BAU, he hurried over to him.

"Reid, I just wanted to say if you plan on going on a vacation overseas any point in the future, make sure you visit Prentiss, I'm sure she'd love to see you."

Reid frowned,"Ah sure," he said puzzled.

"Thanks, goodnight Reid." Hotch flashed him a rare smile and got on the elevator.

FIN

AN: I wanted to exercise my writing muscles a bit and write a spoof of a Christmas carol using the BAU. So here it is. It was meant to be posted over a month ago. Please read and you.


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